Sandwiched Club

When we first noticed our son’s struggles in kindergarten, the idea that he might have ADHD was far from our minds. It’s easy to dismiss signs, especially when children are still young, and school is supposed to be more about play than serious academics. His teachers had been hesitant to report the growing pile of unfinished school journals. By the time they shared this with us, it had snowballed into a daunting issue.

We approached it logically, or so we thought. We enrolled him in extra classes—English, Chinese, music, and art—hoping that exposure to various subjects would help him express himself better and keep up with school. But feedback from all the teachers was the same: he struggled to focus and often left work incomplete. Still, we didn’t think ADHD.

Our son is bright—remarkably so in some areas. He could passionately discuss space and future technologies, and we convinced ourselves that his disinterest in schoolwork stemmed from not yet finding his “spark.” We were certain that once he found a topic that truly engaged him, everything would fall into place.

But as time passed, our strategy to push him harder academically backfired. At home, the tension grew as he continually struggled to start or complete homework. We felt stuck between trying to help him succeed and feeling like we were forcing something that wasn’t working. The frustration affected everyone—even the grandparents, who thought we were being too hard on him. We sometimes thought so too, but we believed it was for his future.

In Singapore, academic achievement is often seen as the key to unlocking opportunities, and we wanted the best for him. But nothing was working, and we found ourselves trapped in a cycle of stress and conflict.

The Turning Point

The shift came when a teacher, who also had two children with ADHD, sat us down and bluntly told us that an evaluation could make all the difference. Her words hit home, more so because they came from someone who understood both as a parent and an educator. It wasn’t easy to hear, but it was the truth we needed.

This teacher didn’t just see a boy who was struggling in school; she saw the potential for change. She made us realize that seeking help wasn’t admitting defeat—it was a step towards understanding how to support our son in the right way. The idea of an evaluation suddenly seemed less like a label and more like a key to unlocking his unique way of learning.

What We Learned

Looking back, we realize how easy it was to dismiss our concerns in the beginning. We believed that hard work and structure would eventually pay off, but we were missing the bigger picture. ADHD wasn’t something we could just work around with more discipline. It required a different approach, and we’re grateful for the teacher who helped us see that.