Sandwiched Club

“This sharing focuses on the weeks following the dangerous incident my dad experienced. The takeaway from this story is that not all of us have the support or capacity to care for loved ones suffering from dementia—and that’s okay. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings and seek help when needed. For this story, my dad will be referred to as Mr. Butter, and my mum as Mdm Wholemeal. I hope you find this story enlightening. Love, Mrs. Bacon“

After the Incident – After the day Mr. Butter wandered onto a busy road during rush hour, Mdm Wholemeal stopped taking him out entirely. She feared that a similar incident might happen again. What she didn’t realize, however, was how many changes she would need to make to become Mr. Butter’s primary caregiver.

Caring for Mr. Butter – Every day, Mdm Wholemeal watched over Mr. Butter like a hawk, ensuring that he had everything he needed. She helped him stand up, fed him, bathed him, did his laundry, and managed countless other tasks. If he peed on his bed, she had to clean him up and take care of the bedding, on top of all the household chores. She was constantly making sure he wouldn’t get hurt. It was difficult work for a petite woman, but she carried on.

Late-Night Grocery Shopping – The only time she left the house was when Mr. Butter was asleep. She would take a short trip to the nearby 24-hour supermarket, giving herself a brief moment alone while also picking up groceries. Mrs Bacon, Mdm Wholemeal’s daughter, had offered to buy and have them delivered, but she always insisted that it would be a waste of money.

Little Contact with Family – While caring for Mr. Butter, Mdm Wholemeal gradually withdrew from social interactions. She was exhausted, and meeting others was no longer a priority. Her focus was simply on getting through each day, making sure Mr. Butter was safe. Because of this, she went for a long time without seeing us or her grandchildren.

That was until the day she made up her mind to make a big change—one that would become one of the most important decisions ever, both for Mr. Butter’s well-being and her own.